Ascension Church - March 20

T sez:
First I have to tell you that I had a long day - I paddled for one and a half hours, then went on a nine mile walk. Hopefully that will tell you my state of mind and my physical state.

I arrived at Ascension early because that's what I do - I am always early. It goes back to when I was a kid and we were going somewhere and my dad would be in the car half an hour early waiting for us...or maybe the 30 years of doing hair and when someone was late the whole day went to %^&*(#$%% !! (NOTE: She is talking about K here- ouch!!!)

So as I was sitting in my car waiting to go in I watched the parishioners arrive. Nobody seemed to be entering the church with a sense of joy and happiness to be there, it was more like "ho humnnnmm...."

When I entered the church the first thing I noticed was this beautiful glass window. It was on the south side of the church, so the sun was shining through and making the colors even more vibrant.

As I came in there were lots of parishioners standing around waiting to go into the church as I stood there waiting for K. Nobody greeted me or addressed me so I felt a bit awkward. Then all of a sudden this big presence of a man walked in - it was the priest. With the voice of a Shakespearean actor - very theatrical- he shoo-shooed the parishioners to go into the church, and then he prayed with the altar servers.

The priest was very theatrical to say the least. I felt as if I was at a play (like Tony and Tina's wedding) he was very interactive with the audience. He would ask questions and they would yell the answers back out loud. He looked a lot like Friar Tuck - I was waiting for Robin Hood and his Merry Men to enter the room at any time. To say the least it was entertaining.

About two rows in front of us sat a man who came in late - it was Freddie Mercury. He is alive! Looking a bit fuller than I remembered but healthy and looking good.

There were lots of characters at this Mass. A Vietnamese man sat next to us with his wife who dragged him around by the collar of his shirt and I mean she really dragged him around. It was kind of shocking at first glance but then I realized there was something not quite right about him. He would stare at K and me for a long time without taking his eyes off us (do you think he knew we were the Church Whores?) we just smiled back.

Oh yeah, back to the Mass. I have one question - is there not a Catholic out there who can sing?! I have been to a lot of Catholic churches in my time and never has anyone been able to sing. So any of you Catholics out there if your church has a great singer let me know.

The homily was a little confusing to me but the parishioners loved their priest and laughed at everything he said. So I felt a little empty I did not leave with any inspiring words.

OK back to the state of mind I was in and my physical state when I got there. The up - down on your knees - then up - then down on your knees again and again was a little too much for me. Then when you were down it was those hard pews that should be a sin within itself.

Well, no coffee, but the priest's entertaining way during the Mass kept me awake and waiting to see what would happen next. Don't know if I felt full for the week but there is always next week. Left there with a smile on my face because it was so entertaining - everything - the people, the priest. Remember God works in mysterious ways. God bless! and until next time...


K sez:

Ascension Church's number one feature is the priest, Father Ben Innes. He is a big man with a delightfully theatrical voice. I had to check my surroundings a few times, to make sure I was not at a Shakespeare play, or watching the opera Don Giovanni. I could totally picture Father Ben in tights and velvet, with a big regal cape. The congregation really responded to him - laughing a lot during his homily. I liked the fact that he told us he spent his recent week in San Diego smoking cigars and reading Sports Illustrated. He looks like a guy that might be fun to have dinner with.

Another interesting and unique person in attendance was Freddie Mercury's twin brother - buff, with full arm tattoes and black moustache. He really stood out in a parish of mostly elderly people. Very few children.

Alas, no mochas were offered to help us stay awake...but the Catholic church does offer a lot of sitting, standing, kneeling, and audience participation, not just singing but all the prayers we have memorized after attending Mass for years. These prayers, which are NOT written down anywhere, were very intimidating to me when I first started attending Catholic Mass. Now I can recite them along with the cradle Catholics, so I can "blend in" ha ha!

Ascension has a great cross on the altar, not the usual suffering Jesus but a happy, welcoming Jesus. The church is straight out of the 60's, minimalist lines, no embellishments. The wagon wheel design lights on the ceiling were interesting...very cushy kneelers - that was a plus!

The church offers two Spanish language Masses, and is the first church that I have seen to put "Flor y Canto" in the pews (spanish language hymnal).

Another thing I like about Catholic churches is that they often name individual people in the prayers of the faithful, so everybody knows everybody else's business (who is sick, who just died, who is having surgery). They shared names again at the end of the service, as people who took Communion to the sick and homebound announced to the entire parish who they were going to visit. I guess you could say that builds community.

T said something at the beginning of Mass that was absolutely brilliant. She said, "Why do non-Catholics come into church smiling, and Catholics always look gloomy?"

Then her very next sentence revealed the answer, although I don't think she realized it at the time. She said "do you believe when you die you go to Purgatory or staight to Heaven?"

That, my friends, is one of the big difference between Catholic Christians and other Christians.
I have actually heard priests say that salvation is not guaranteed, that we are always earning it.
Although I do prefer Catholic church, I do not agree with that philosophy. I believe it says in the Bible that if you believe in Jesus Christ you are saved. period. It also says that you cannot earn Heaven. It is given freely.

Very curious to see what other epiphanies come out of this adventure. We will be in Pacific City next weekend, Palm Sunday. Give us your ideas for a church to visit there!

thanks for reading our little blog.